Monday, September 19, 2011

Will this ever end

I have had it ripped out of me before...but this is something else Amanda! Check in to the Priory before if gets to you!
T ( Head of T Squad and Director of the Department of Tunnock Disruption)

Saturday, September 10, 2011

I can't escape from them!

Can you believe it?  In the Granary in Leith and they had this on display. I have booked into the Priory to get  detunnocked. Tom 

A quick round up of Auld Alliance 2011

Day 1 (Friday 26th August)

Set off under the shadow of Edinburgh Castle heading for Kelso. Short run of only 50 miles. Cloudy but dry and a temperature of about 14c.





By the outskirts of Pathead we all stopped for bacon rolls etc as more hills awaited our arrival as we headed up and out of the Edinburgh/Lothians area.

Once into Border country we stopped at Carfraemill for a short rest. However it turned into a ‘get the waterproofs on’ as the rain lashed down.

For the next 10 miles the rain was relentless but as we passed the the small town of Gordon the rain eased and it eventually dried up. It was only at this point did we realise that we had left Mike and Alan behind at Carfraemill who made the decision to try and wait for the rain to pass but finally gave up and with their speed and fitness caught up with us fairly quickly.


We arrived in Kelso with most people realising their cycle shoes were sodden, except mine because I had my dry suit on with my gortex overshoes which proved invaluable – they were as dry as a bone. The only problem is my phone took a hammering through dampness and never worked again. Sometime later Phil’s phone packed in as well.

Day 2 (Saturday 27th August)

Opened the curtains – rain lashing down again – back on with the waterproofs, surely it wasn’t going to be like this all the way to Paris?!

By the time we arrived in Coldstream the rain had practically ceased and we were left to just dodge the puddles as we headed into England. Little did we know but we would never see rain again until we were in our rooms in Paris!

Our route (70 miles and testing hills) took us through Wooler, Rothbury and finally to the outskirts of Newcastle at a place called Woolsington (Next to Newcastle Airport – there was a slight temptation to load the bikes on the plane to Paris at this point!). This would test the most serious of cyclists with a short, steep hill on the back road to Rothbury and various steep hills out of Rothbury once you have buried your lunch in your stomach at the Queens Arms. By this time the temperature had risen to 17c.



About 10 miles from our finish for the day, Paul our youngest cyclist on the trip got his first puncture. Thankfully dad was there to fix for him.

Arrived at hotel to find that there would be only enough hot water to have a shower for one. Not happy, complained and got a refund.

Day 3 (Sunday 28th August)

Was supposed to be a short day of around 55 miles but turned into a longer day. Another dry and sunny day with the wind coming in behind us on most occasions.

As we crossed the river Tyne and headed east along the side of the river Tom suffered a burst valve. This may have been due to the tyre being over inflated or simply just a defect.

After a 30 min stop we set off again but only for Paul to get another puncture – another 30 minute delay. Off we went again.

I knew what was coming as did Phil because we had done this route before but we decided not to elaborate on what was around the corner. We named this ‘The Wall’, because that is what it is – a vertical climb for about half a mile. It’s a case of head down and just keep going until you reach the top. Get through this and there’s nothing harder all the way to Paris.

Once everybody had 2 minutes on the oxygen machine we then carried on towards Darlington and Croft-on-Tees (Croft Hotel) through rolling hills. Just as well there was a slight wind behind us and the temperature had risen slightly to 18c.

Late lunch was had in Darlington where a new phone was purchased (cheap and nasty) but would do the job to Paris and back until I decided what phone I would get next.

Short cycle to Croft and again, thanks to Bill our luggage was waiting for us and time to change and go for a drink while watching Man U thrash Arsenal 8 – 2

Day 4 (Monday 29th August)

Another cooked breakfast and we were on our way through the quiet back country roads of North Yorkshire with the wind still gently pushing us along and the sun was out again. Temperature now climbing to 19c.

60 mile run to Pocklington just south of York was our target for the day. The roads were quiet, narrow and relatively smooth until yet again Paul got another puncture on his new puncture resistant tyres (they were not Schwalbe Marathon plus). A slight delay and we were off again. The only slight issue that day was the fact we joined the A19 five miles north of where we should have joined it but at least we were heading into York in the right direction.

A late lunch a a few photos of the team in York and we were on the Hull road to Pocklington where our Yorkway motel was awaiting.

Day 5 (Tuesday 30th August)

Just for once a bit of a lie in as we only had 30 miles to cycle to leave us enough time for any issues with the bike and make sure we arrived in enough time to make the ferry.

After a short stop in Tesco we headed off for Hull, again along quiet country roads until we reached the outskirts of Hull when the group must have thought it was a race to the finish line and sped off at great speed. As myself and Margy trailed the group we carried on into Hull and arrived at Starbucks about 10 minutes ahead of the rest of the group. Graeme’s sat nav brain out does the computer again!

After a short snack in the centre of Hull we descend down to the port of Hull where we said our goodbyes to Bill, Craig & Margy who headed back to Edinburgh. A big huge thank you to Bill for transporting the luggage for everybody. Thanks from all the cyclists!

To amuse ourselves until the rest of the cyclist came down on the minibuses from Edinburgh, we had time trials around the car park until it got a bit to dangerous and then we had a game of ‘hoop the traffic cone’ with Paul’s old tyres to which only Tom and Graeme were successful.

Soon we were on the ferry with the rest of the crew and a 14 hour overnight sailing to Zeebrugge in Belgium.

Day 6 (Wednesday 31st August)

Arrived in Zeebrugge on time, unloaded the bikes and set off for Lille in France which was about a 67 mile trek. Cloudy but dry and relatively warm. As we headed south through the flat countryside and along country roads towards the canal Graeme decided to park his brain sat nav and went for the Mike computer sat nav which worked wonders as we arrived in Torhout (our lunchtime stop) about 90 mins ahead of schedule.The trouble with arriving early is that you spend more time having lunch!

With the temperature now climbing to a sultry 22c with very little wind and the sun breaking through the clouds we set off again for our next stop at Menen on the border of France. Our usual route around Roselare was blocked so we cycled right through the centre of town which was actually a much better, safer and more direct route.

However, on approaching Menen, Martin got a puncture. We fixed it quite promptly and didn’t lose much time and stopped for a drink in the small town. As we were about to set off, Martin announced he had another puncture. You could see the time we had made in advance slip away slowly but surely, but was no fault of Martin – he was just unlucky. However, that streak continued a further 2 miles down the road when his tyre deflated again – now we were running late and no sign of the support vehicle.

Eventually we made it into Lille and our hotel and headed to the Hotel de Ville (Town Hall to you and me) where Graeme made a speech in French thanking the town and Police for their hospitality (many thanks to Cathy for the French translation!)

Unfortunately our dinner was delayed and there was really only enough time to have starters and Main course and although a few of us considered staying for the dessert (pudding to others) we felt we needed our beds instead!

Day 7 (Thursday 1st September)

As we left Lille and got through the directionless town of Henin- Beaumont we split into 3 groups, the Hares, the Stags and the Turtles. Tom led the Hares, Phil the Stags, and Graeme the Turtles. Go team Turtle!

60 miles ensued this day with gentle rolling hills and the temperature now climbing to 25c and sun blazing down.

After the lunchtime stop of Artois-de-Vitry we headed off towards the small town of Peronne. As team turtle carried on at a steady pace just 10 miles short of Peronne and 3 miles short of our local drink stop they stopped for a short breather. Within a few minutes of stopping, Tom leading the hares come up the road with his posse and declared they had stopped at the wrong drink stop. This was code for ‘I got lost’ but not to dampen his spirits he was pointed in the right direction where he caught up with the Stags who had been at the watering hole for a good 30 minutes.

On the outskirts of Peronne we were met by two local cycling groups who led us into their town and group photos at the castle in Peronne itself. Shortly afterwards we headed to our Campanile hotel on the edge of town - see photo below.

We were then invited to a buffet meal plus drinks in a school hall which was simply amazing and to top it off they gave each of the cyclists including the support crew a gift of a bottle of beer, a USB stick and other souvenirs of the town – well worth more than the 10 Euro we each kindly donated to their charity.

Day 8 (Friday 2nd September)

A 9:00am departure (a bit of a lie in) and we were off again for a 55 mile hike to Compiegne via Armistice. However just as we left the Campanile hotel we stopped at the WWI cemetery across the road to conduct a one minute silence to remember all those soldiers who died fighting for their country.

Back on bike, sun blazing down we rode off towards the town of Ribecourt via the ‘Hill of inconvenience’ as it is now named again through quiet country roads as can be seen below (Team Turtle)

After our mid morning stop the hares sped off on an alternative route to Compiegne while the rest soldiered onto Ribecourt. Within a few miles one of Graeme’s spokes broke and although he pedalled on for a few more miles gave up and used the backup bike to carry on and finish the day.

After lunch the temperature had now climbed to a scorching 33c as we headed off to Armistice. At this point Graeme and Allan then headed to the bike shop in Compiegne and the mechanic duly fixed the spoke in the back wheel. (see wheel getting fixed below)

The only problem now was that everyone had completed the journey from Armistice to the hotel in Compiegne and it was now time for dinner. Therefore to make sure Graeme completed the distance he got up at 6am the next morning and rode the 15 mile round trip to Armistice and back to the hotel before they all set off for Paris on the final day.

Graeme was having a bad day because while paying for his wheel to get fixed he left his camera in the shop having lost a camera in the town two years earlier and with Tom losing a camera there last year it looked like a hat-trick of cameras lost in this town. But the spell was broken between Rod coming up with the idea of phoning police to get phone number of shop and Cathy doing the French speaking bit the camera was recovered. Yahoo!

Day 9 (Saturday 3rd September)

The final day. Clear and sunny we sped of Paris on the final leg of the journey. It was a mainly straight road down to the turning at Marly-de-ville and the lunchtime stop.

The scenery was magnificent with tree lined roads gazing into the distance with open fields on either side.

Our lunchtime stop included sandwiches/baguettes, juice and strawberry tarts! Once refuelled we were off again with a short sharp incline before we headed down into the town of Sarchelles and to the meeting point with the Paris police who escorted us into Paris.

By this time the temperature had now risen to a sizzling 37c hot! Hot! hot!

However, on the way in Mike fell off his bike due to a pothole in the road and was taken to hospital but with only minor cuts and bruises but lived to tell the tale. The rest of us carried on but Natalie’s back wheel came loose and Phil came to the rescue and lent her his bike while he fixed hers and tried to catch up with the group – he said it was ‘like riding a chopper’ (you have to be of a certain age to understand that comment!). Before long he was back in the ’Whacky races’ and we made it to the finish on the Champs Elysee. Shortly afterwards we had a great reception at the British Embassy then cycled back up the Champs Elysee to the the Arc de Triomphe.

Then onto the Eiffel Tower.

Job done and many charities have now benefited.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Compiegne to Paris

Up and away in the morning in bright sunshine along the long cycle path towards Paris. Tried to stop at the cafe which we always forget the name of and it was closed. Went on and found a lovely bakery where we had some nice sandwiches. We again survived some horrendous driving decisions and got to the meeting point with the Paris police. Off we went at 3 mph towards Paris with the ladies at the front as usual. Stopped for an ambulance and continued on to the Champ Élysées where we entertained the locals and Hugh played Brown Girl in the Rain Superstar Happy Birthday all at once on his pipes. Amanda and Sarah were forced to hug all the police commanders but not us, as we were very smelly. After distribution of Tons of Tunnocks and a diabetes test we headed for the British Embassy where we had tea on the lawn. No Ferrero Rocher here but lots of puddings. Off to the Trocadero for photos of the Eiffel Tower and a wee dice with death through F Bobs lack of coordination when driving. The good thing was he was aware of his mistake because when I pointed it out he told me to F off....nice bloke. I was glad I was flying. Back to the hotel and it was time for most of the group to hit the local Indian for Paul's birthday dinner. Some of those who were still enslaved were forcibly taken to the Auld Alliance Pub to Tunnockify some local Jocks hanging around Paris avoiding the CSA and warrants. Funnily enough we called in the following day and the manager was injecting Insulin and swigging an out of date can of Irn Bru. Soon it was time to return home on the plane and thank God that we survived another Prentice Even.....Evens....Evint...ah....NURSE!!!!!!


A French Bloke


Tunnock dealer from the Upper West Side








All text, photographs etc are copyright of T McInally 2011

Some photos










Happy Birthday Paul!



Compiegne here we come

This part of the journey is quite hilly and the temperature was a mere 36 degs. We had been fortunate enough to have a pudding the night before and we all felt very good. The sugar was rushing through our veins after stuffing several Tunnock Tea Cakes into our gobs. Off we went before stopping at Nesle to wring our shirts out and grab a coffee and a Tunnocks Tea Cake (melted). Off again in searing temperatures and got lost. Asked the Gendarmes where we should go and where we were now. They were unable to answer both questions which is not very reassuring for the public of France. Eventually got back on the road and headed south. Arrived in Compiegne about 1430 after a very fast run. Into the bar for a couple of beer. In the previous 2 years we had always lost a camera here so I tied my camera to my wallet to make sure it never came out of my pocket. Graeme arrived with a wheel and no bike after breaking a spoke and getting it repaired in the town. He then announced he had lost his camera...spooky. We later recovered it in the bike shop after cathy called the cops and got the key holder to attend. I think we have broken that tradition.

A night out a a restaurant without the teacher so we all had a pudding and then walked back to the hotel...3 miles....no taxis after 8pm. Sleep for tomorrow's run to Paris.



Look...Pudding!